Searching for "i don"

304 Results For 'i don'

Isabella

December 03, 2013 @ (New york)

Tags: Ugh

I need to vent. In advance, thanks for reading.

He is the last person I thought I'd be crying over. I had just moved and was new in school - it was a smallish town and there wasn't really that many new kids. So everybody was introducing me to everybody. Cutting class with a friend walking around, a group of guys walk up to my friend and he starts talking to them and what not and introduce me to them. I could tell that they are older -some a lot older- I don't even think they went to my school. One of them, Drew, stayed behind everyone with me as we all walked on the narrow sidewalk. We talked briefly I learned he was also cutting, he was some what of a "bad" boy he would always be getting in trouble and smoking weed and all that. My first impression of him was he's cool, he's like me and he's cute! But I never pursued him neither did he with me. I just saw him as a friend. Yeah he's cute but I didn't feel anything towards him. He'd always greet me with a hug and a kiss on the cheek every time and wait for me by my class. I saw him in and out relationships and when one got kinda serious I actually got upset! But not enough to really care and got over it almost right away. His best friend had a thing for me and I let it slide but felt really uncomfortable cause I didn't want drew to find out. I met him in 08 and the years passed and our friendship was just that - a friendship. We didn't become best friends and start dating we didn't have any of that fair tale crap.

Since he was older he left school before I did and after that I barely saw him. In all honesty I didn't really care, he was my friend but just my friend and it wasn't such a tragic thing when we stopped talking. I was on my Facebook and I came across one of his exs and she was getting married! I thought it was to him but then saw that it was to someone else. In my head I thought to myself why do I care? Whatever, right? So I looked him up and we started talking again and catching up and exchanging numbers. He lived close by and he had a car so he was literally only 5 minutes away. He grew to be even more handsome than I remember. And I'm not your typical girl - I'd rather take apart a car engine than get my nails

John

November 14, 2013 @ (New York)

Tags: Bad breakup, emotional, love

My girlfriend I dated for just over a year broke up with me last week. She was my best friend in the entire world. Ever since birth we were best friends, she called me late at night last year and told me some guy was gonna ask her to prom and she couldn't say no but didn't want to go with him. I asked her over the phone. That night we went back to her house and watched movies after the dance. She told me how she was so thankful I asked her and how much fun she had.. And I kissed her.. It was quiet for a while and she hugged me and we cuddled the rest of the night not saying anything. A couple days later I brought her flowers and asked her out. She said yes. We were so happy for the next year, we promised never to stop talking, we hung out all the time, if she needed anything I was there. Then she got some new friends.. We started fighting for the first time in our relationship but we got over it and I loved her even more, but the day after our senior prom she told me she just didn't like me any more. I dont understand but I told her that I loved her one last time and gave her what she wanted. A few days later I realized I couldn't live without her I had gotten drunk for the first time in my life to try to ignore my feelings but nothing worked. I texted her amd told her I missed her... She said she missed me too.. We talked for a few days and I asked to see her again. She didn't respond to my texts or calls for a week. I texted her again a few days ago. I told her I missed her and that we should at least be friends. She said she misses me too. I asked to see her and she hasn't responded. I found out today she has a new boyfriend and she cheated on me for a month with him. But that's not the worst part. The worst part is I still loved her, I always will, and there's nothimg I can do about it

Lauren

November 13, 2013 @ (NY)

Tags: bad break ups, how to break up

I havent broken up with my boyfriend yet, but I'm about to. We have been together for 2 years. When we started dating I was still talking to my ex and that really hurt him(thats what he made me believe) and he made my life hell because I used to talked to my ex in our first month of being together. After like a month of being together I moved in with him and I dropped out of college, I quieted my job, I dint talk to my family, didnt have Any friends other than him. I did all that to show him that i really loved him and no one else. After a while I found out that at the beginning of our relationship, just like me, he was talking to his ex too and not only talking, after I moved in, He was begging her to go back with him. I also found out that he was inviting girls to go out. I also found out that in valentines day he didnt even say happy valentines day to me but he wrote his ex a big email saying how much he wanted to marry her and how much he loves her, and if she needed help, he was there for her. I found out all that almost after a year of us being together. Now we being together for more than 2 years on and off. We still leaving together. He has a son that I love like if he was my son, but he also has a step son (the son of his son's mom and they broke up like 7 years a go) and he is leaving with us and he is a fucking pain in the ass. But not only his step son leaves with us, my boyfriend's mom also leaves with us. Whenever she wants to yell at me she does, whenever she wants to be nice to me she is, but most of the time she doesnt talk to me. I dont work because if I work is a big fight because he doesnt want me to work. So, I have to be home taking care of his real kid, the pain in the ass of his step son, put up with my boyfriend's bitch mom and also put up with my boyfriends crap. On top all that he never complements, anything I do is enough for him. But after all that I'm still loving him and its been so painful every time we have broken up in the past and we always go back together within a month. I am soooo tired of this and i dont know how to break up forever because I'm afraid of the pain that I'm gonna feel plus i think of his real son that is like my son too.
So please I will appreciate any advice.

Morgan

November 04, 2013 @ (United States)

Tags: The worst feeling in the world is being replaced

We were together for four years. I loved him with every ounce of me. I gave him my all. He was my everything. His parents were a big issue, they never allowed us to go out on dates and we constantly had to hangout with his family. He never asked me on dates, and never really wanted to spend time with me. I loved him more than he loved me I guess. My graduation party came and went and he never showed. His father would not allow him to come to it. It hurt very bad but I wanted to stay with him through it all. A few days went by and he said we needed to talk. He came over and broke up with me that night, he said he needed to focus on himself and I was not outgoing enough for him. It hurt days passed by and I found out he cheated on me with a girl four years younger than he is. Shortly after I went onto facebook and had to see pictures of them begin to appear, comments and love statuses going up about each other. His parents are constantly talking about how much they love her and how she is perfect for him. I thought he was the one, and he told me we were going to get married that i was the one for him. Four years, we were together four years and he moved on. He moved on and I cannot get him out of my head. I hope everyday he will come back to me and it tears me up inside what he is doing. He can take her out on dates, hangout with her all the time, and do everything for her. What does she have that I don't? I thought he loved me...

Jess

October 24, 2013 @ (Florida)

Tags: Bad break up

At the beginning, I knew better. I knew better than to date someone who I hadn't been friends with for a while.
I knew better.
Yet still I was determined that this guy I was seeing, was worth it all and that everything would work out. He promised me. Doesn't he know how to keep promises?
His parents got in the way. Always. I learned to accept that, and even though they would insult me to the point of tears, I never gave up on this guy. I never lied, cheated, or never kept my promises.
I let him in, and we enjoyed eachothers company. Just two lovers, happy with no interruptions.
I learned his likes: Baseball, Christ, Spicy Food, Powerade Zero Orange, Orange anything, Food always, and much more.
I learned his goals: Finish college, own his own Chick-Fil-A or sports bar.
All of my friends loved this guy, because I was happy.
I really was happy.
He never really went out of his way unless I begged though. I wasn't sure how to take it, but I never got really upset. I just asked him to please do something to make me feel special.
He ALWAYS promised.
Lies?
I mean he always said he had a surprise for me, and the times he actually gave me a note, it would be two sentences.
Still, I was happy.
Suddenly I became less important.
Morning texts consisted of "Good morning, love you." You're telling me you had 30 minutes ride to college and all I got was that?
It used to be "Pick me up at 10:30AM, let me ditch school to be with you."
Suddenly, I didn't feel like enough, and even though he reassured me that I was, he never showed it anymore.
My birthday weekend was terrible. Last minute he decided what was more important, It wasn't me. Not even on my birthday weekend.
I was upset. I forgave him.
We moved on, but he no longer kept his word that he had surprises.
Why lie?
I became a part of his life and suddenly he could lie to me.
I loved him anyways.
I don't know if I expected too much, but I didn't ask for a lot.
I gave him so much.
I always supported him with any decision he ever made.
I tried to make him happy still.
I recieved broken promises.
My sister died. It hit me so hard, but I never showed it.
I didn't want to bring him down.
He never asked if I was okay. Not once.
I wasn't okay. I'm STILL not.
I loved him anyways.
He lied to me and said he would go to the funeral with me.
I felt special.
Then he said no... I felt worthless.
He could see how much pain I was in, he still said no.
I forgave him. That is unforgivable. I needed him and he walked away, work was more important.
I still went to his work, I hugged him and cried. He made everything okay suddenly.
Suddenly, I didn't feel worthless.
Then came Sunday.
I was broken. My mom was in the hospital, my sister died.
Broken.
He broke me MORE.
He walked away from me at the worst time.
I let him go, he didn't fight to stay.
Suddenly, those endless nights talking, random walks, the aquarium, my birthday, the baseball games and laughing in bed... were to be broken memories.
We talked that night. He lied. He gave me false hope.
We got back together and suddenly it was okay. We could fix this. Love could fix anything.
I forgave him.
He broke me even more.
Suddenly he ignored me all day. We spoke only late at night.
His parents got in the way. I could see how much he let them control him and his happiness.
He hid me from them, like I was the dirt beneath them.
He toyed with my emotions. We were together, he just wouldn't tell anyone.
Worthless.
I broke even more.
I tried to forgive him.
It was my turn to stand up and walk away.
I did.
---

And now it's been a week and I found out I'm pregnant. He knows this, and I'm pretty sure he wants to get back together because of it, and because he says he wants to be with me because it was a mistake to break it off.

A couple days later, I figured out he deleted every picture of me and us off of his facebook (he says he didn't do it), like the 11 months we were together didn't exist, I didn't exist and I could be erased that easily.

So I took him out, between college classes, and we fell back into the routine. He made me laugh, smile, even looked me dead in the eyes and said he wanted me back. Well it's a little embarrassing seeing as his mother is his friend on facebook and probably saw everything erased of us. Still, I was considering it.

I went to drop him back off at College, and I sat there in my car asking him if he had flirted with any girls. He said no. So I said, alright... Well let me see your phone (I honestly wasn't snooping, I just wondered if he still had pictures of us in his photo album. He did.)

Right then a girl messaged him and it opened up, and I know I shouldn't of read any of it, but I did. Shame on me. IT WAS ON FACEBOOK CHAT. It went like this:

Him: Hey
Her: Hey
Him: How are you?
Her: Didn't you just break up with your girlfriend?
Him: How do you know I had a girl?
Her: Look I don't have time for this nonsense.
Him: Do you want to get to know me?
Her: Go sit in front of a TV with a tub of icecream.

And that was it. I told him to get his shit and get out of my car. Generally, if you want someone back, you don't go around flirting?

He texted me saying he was sorry, that it was just a question. I was pissed, he sat there and acted like I didn't even exist, talking to other girls. How serious was he about getting back together, because HE was the one who suggested it. Turns out that wasn't the only girl he had been talking to.

He then turned it on me saying, "I thought we were done and you were talking to other guys, that's why I did it."

No, actually I don't play with peoples emotions. I hadn't talked to any guys. I wouldn't of anyways, but the fact that I'm pregnant and knew he needed to be there in this childs life, pushed me even further to try and make it work out.

I'm so confused!

Nothing

October 20, 2013 @ (india)

Tags: End of a relationship

Finally its over a mother daughter relationship between a teacher and student, about 6 years i hold on with a person who doesn't loved me back. I was with her in her good and bad times. I helped her as much as i could. Gave my full attention,love and trust but,, its not enough to being loved back. I dont want to complain about her coz its my mistake to hold on with someone very long time after been neglected so many times. its very hard to forgot her i used to text her all the time.. thanks for her patience to bear my disturbance. i got my clearance now. tones of time i tried to break this relationship but i couldn't but its clear now its the time to give up and not looking back anymore.. The past has nothing new to say.. she hated she hates and she 'll. Now i got a job. I am gonna give my sincerity to my company rather than wasting time like this.. may be im wrong now but i'll be right someday.. Thanks for reading ..

PerplexedGirl

September 28, 2013 @ (Cali)

Tags: bad breakup, heartbroken, perplexed, sad, tears, crying

I dated my last boyfriend for a year and a half. We met in a waiting room where we waited for our kids a couple times a week. We had so much in common and hit it off immediately. We went on wkend adventures and had a blast. After only a few months he told me he was in love with me. He said he wanted to tell me earlier, but he was afraid to. I was so charmed by him. His ex wife was a bit crazy and they fought over their kid all the time. His ex was mad that I had dinner with him and the kid and yelled at him that they agreed to wait until dating someone 6 months before they spent time with the kid. (Which of course, she did not follow). So he then has us wait 8 months before I can spend time with him and the kid together. When he finally decides it's okay, we all spend LOTS of time together and he and I spend all our child free weekends together. He tells me I am "the one", "It's meant to be", that he has never been so happy, he is so in love, etc. He texts daily, writes me a poem, declares his love all the time. In person he is affectionate and kind. We discuss buying land together and aspects of our home we will have. We plan a vacation together with our kids. We go on the trip and everyone has a lot of fun. He gets in some arguments with his kid related to her mother, but otherwise everything was fine. When we get home he tells me thanks for the awesome vacation and a text that says "I love you so so so so much, now more than ever".
Fast forward one month after vacation. He breaks up with me in an email!!
He says that some things have occured to him and that he could not live with me and so what is the point and goodbye.
I am shocked and ask to meet with him. He says yes, but then never does. He won't answer his phone. His kid calls me one day to say how much she misses me and that she is afraid that I don't like her anymore because of her dad. I assure her that is not true, but I have no idea what her father told her because he will not talk to me. He texts me the next day and says that telling his daughter anything other than "it didn't work out" is inappropriate!! and to lose her number!! As if I called her!! ???
Two months after the breakup he sends me another email saying that he is sorry, but not asking for forgiveness. ?
Then he proceeds to tell me the 3 kinds of love in the world, one for your kids, one for your sister/mother and then the kind you can't breathe without the person....and that I fall into the sister/mother category for him. After all those months of love declarations and of course lots of sex, I fall into the mother/sister category??? WTF?
I have no tears left for this freak and have moved on. Thank goodness.

Sadlonelyconfused

May 07, 2013 @ (San Francisco)

Tags: Crush, first, kiss, bad, relationship, teenagers, dumb, love

I have had a crush on this girl sinse the first grade, it started off as us hating each other but it was one of those cute kid cover up things. In middle school there were other girls I hooked up with, other girl friends, so I forgot about this girl for a long time. After dealing with a fair amount of drama with other girls, I started to have feeling for this girl again, this is by the time puberty has hit us both and she became more than just the girl I liked, she became beautiful, so other guys started hitting on her too. Around this time me and he started getting flirty, this lasted for a while until I asked her out, but she said no because she felt like we were too close as friends and she didn't want to loose me. So I was heart broken or whatever but I bounced back and everything was fine between us. We texted all summer and saw each other a few times, it almost felt like we were together, but we weren't. I got over her and started focusing on my studies so for a while all I did was study and party, everything was going fine, I was happy. Then my best female friend told me that she and my old crush were talking and that she found out that she kind of liked me but was going to wait for me to ask her out. So I waited, partied more, and eventually got around to asking her out, again, and she said yes. That marked the start of our month line awkward excuse of a relationship. I was her first boyfriend, and her first kiss, which she was extremely nervous for, so once we kissed I thought everything would turn around and that she would loose her shyness, the thing ruining our relationship. I didn't work, she and her friend started fighting and their fight was affecting out relationship. Spring break rolled around and I had only kissed her one day, on several occasions though, infact we made out. I was planning to hang out with her during spring break but she was out of town the whole time. The last weekend of spring break I was so exited to see her the following Monday. When I go to school I found out that her fight with her friend had gotten worse, they would even look a each other. That day I decided that I Was going to talk to her and either figure out why everything was going the way it was going or break up with her. Before I could do it I checked with my female friend and she had told me that my girlfriend had told her that she wasnt ready for a telationship and that she wanted it to end but she was to nervousness and shy to do it herself, so knowing that I ended it. I felt awful, I picked up smoking again that night and sat on my roof singing sad songs, what a movie cliche. Later people started saying that she just used me to get a first kiss and I was devastated because I thought she liked me. In a spiral of sadness I started smoking too much weed to feel happy again, which was fun while it lasted but now I'm broke. So I've been a sad, bitter, broke, lonely wreck. She seems like she moved on immediately, she's happy, and never regarded it, but I still feel empty inside because I don't know how to be happy again like I was before we got together. She said maybe she would be open to trying a relationship with me again next year but I can't hold on that long, even though I'm afraid I will and this silent sufference will last until then. Sigh... Where some weed when I need it.

Lonely Lifelong

April 08, 2013 @ (canada)

Tags: Lonely lifelong

This guy was with me for almost a year,but it doesn't matter to me how long or short,i loved him with all my heart and thats what matters,he was my first love and i cant express how much i loved him,what didnt i do for him....but i never asked for more then his love,all i needed was his love,but maybe he never did.

i begged him,pleaded him,but he never replied for anything,sometimes i think that the time we have been togather was a lie,we were never meant to be,i cant believe he did this to me,he has made me feel like the luckiest girl,and on the top of the universe,he made me believe he loved me like anything,but he never did,i wonder how could he do this to me?my only question is why?

Now i only have one of his most beautiful memories we shared,that reminds me of the times we had,our girl baby,she is the most beautiful thing i've seen,when we brokeup i didnt knw i was pregnant,after he left me i came to know and i was really happy,i tried to contect him,but he never listened,he doesn't even know that there is a baby,he even doesn't know where we are,i don't want him to know also,he betrayed me,cheated me.

The feeling of keeping the baby inside me was the most amazing,the way it grew,every second reminded me of him,i still do want him,really badly,lastweek my girly for the first time called dada,and tears filled my eyes,she is very alike to her father,those eyes,those soft lightbrown straight hair,she is only one and half,her small feets put little steps towards me,her every thing reminds me of him,and it makes me happy too.

i wish he would be happy,successfull,and he gets the love he wants,god bless him everyway,i loved him,love him,and will go on loving him forever,now my problem is my bestfriend wants me,but i never thought about loving anyone after him,its not that i didn't try,i did,but cant,i believe its better not to love than loving someone who'll never love you back,i feel as if you love soomeone you will pay for it your lifelong......

So though i am alone,its better to be alone,and live a lonelylife,the reason i am living only is for my babydaughter,she is my life,in my every breath she exists,nothing can harm her as long as i live,i have never let her even fall simply,i've kept her in my arms and looked after her,she is the reason i am,all i am is for her,and i will never let her go through what i went,i've promised this to my self since i knew she was within me.....

i love you my darling,my baby,my girl,my only princess...

Nameomitted

March 19, 2013 @ (United States)

Tags: break up, long distance

We were never really official but this feels like a break up to me. We met in November. He was a military guy, no car, was leaving in a couple months. So at first we kept it casual. When he left on holiday leave we were both expecting him to return--he never did. Even though it was just a fling, it felt so unfinished. We'd text almost every day. At one point he said he missed me, and so I brought up the possibility of an LDR. We talked about the cost and how often we'd get to see one another, but in the end he said he hated LDRs, which I interpreted as a no. Yet we kept in touch, and I wanted to see him so badly. I wanted it more than I have wanted anything, I was so sprung on this guy. So I flew out to visit him last week. But I felt like he kept holding back, which in turn made me nervous. I froze up, and the entire week was a mix of silence and awkwardness. There were moments where we'd liven up, and we were only able to soften up physically--not just sex, but touches, caresses, neck rubs. The physical connection wasn't as crazy raw as I remembered it being, but we were still good together. It was still hot. However, I think my quietness got to him, and by the end of the week we were both exhausted. I could tell that he had run out of patience, and I had tired myself out by silently worrying and wondering and panicking. By the time I left we just waved goodbye. No hug, no kiss, not even a handshake.

On one hand, while I was out there I was noticing things about him that I didn't see before, and I would think to myself, "Hmm... no, I don't think we'd work as a couple." I know that we wouldn't. We have the same interests, and we're physically compatible. We're both thoughtful and affectionate. But intellectually, we don't really connect. Maybe I'm a little too independent for him? I don't know. We have different values. I actually found him to be kind of boring most of the time. He probably thought the same of me. I don't think we're actually boring people, but we tend mute each other out for some reason. But even with all that, it was one of the hardest break-ups I've had. Maybe because I was so invested in the dream of him, in the possibility, in the romantic star-crossed-lovers feel of the whole situation. That and my ego is kind of bruised. I was in love with his body, that's for sure.

I wanted it to be him, you know? I wanted him to tell me he wanted to work something out. I wanted to move clear across the country for him. I loved it out there and would love the adventure of it all, but I'm not going to lie that having him out there with me was the top reason I wanted to move. I wouldn't be alone. I have family and friends out there, so it wouldn't have been JUST for him. I guess I could still move if I wanted to, even if we never spoke again...

I hate that I get moody and distant when emotion overwhelms me. I shut off, and in those times it's nearly impossible for me to communicate how I'm feeling. When I panicked, I would push him away. That's one of the things I regret the most. I wasn't at my best, as hard as I tried. I feel... not good enough. Disheartened. The day he dropped me at the airport I still had a 2 hour wait, on top of a 6 hour flight. And I was fighting back tears the whole time. And I still have my spells of utter sadness.

In my heart, I know it's for the best. I know that I'll get over it, like I always do. I know that in time I'll look back and be able to see that it was a fun experience, and I'll be able to see how much I learned from it all. But right now, in the thick of it, it's a struggle to get through the day. I just want to go home and curl up and cry. But I have to work, and go to class, and be mature. And I don't want to annoy my friends and family by ranting and venting all the time, so I came here... It kind of helps, sharing this with strangers. So thanks.